Stupid Stinkiness

I met someone that I thought was a glitter crayon, but it turns out is a stinky crayon. There is nothing wrong with being a stinky crayon, it is just not the right crayon for me. I have tried and tried and been patiently waiting to open this crayon box to see if this was a glitter crayon...I though I saw some sparkles...but I guess it was just my eyes playing tricks on me. Cause when the box finally opened there were not sparkles...just the stinkiness of crayons that are supposed to smell good, but just all smell like funniness.

A crayon metaphor....

I think that looking for a Daddy person is like buying crayons. In order to find someone even remotely close to what I want, I am pretty much forced to look in certain places (art section). Once I find where they are located, I have to differentiate between those who are Daddies looking for little girls (Crayolas) and those who are looking for something a little different (other brands).

Once I finally find the Daddy people, I then have to look indepth at them to find the right one for me (Glitter Crayons). You see, there are those Daddies that are just looking for any little girl (Regular Crayons). And there are Daddies that want too much sex (Neon crayons)...and Daddies that don't want any sex (Metallic crayons)...Daddies that seem great, but you know won't last in the long term (Washable Crayons)...Daddies that COULD be right, but you know are meant for someone else (Stinky Crayons)...Daddies that lie to make you like them (Glow-in-the-dark Crayons)...Daddies that want you to be something you are not (Coloring Book Crayons)...Daddies that don't seem right for anyone (Triangular Crayons)...Daddies that want to change into something they are not (Double-Ended Crayons)...Daddies that care ONLY about diapers (Construction paper crayons)...And Daddies who think diapers are gross (Fabric Crayons)...Its just so very very hard to find the glitter crayons...sometimes you just want to stop looking at all the stores and give up on finding the awesome glitter and just settle for a different kind...

Its a heartache...

I know that I and many of my friends have experienced the incredible disappointment from daddy people that they thought were the "one" for them. Luckily, I haven't really felt this sting in quite sometime (ever since Denver)...but that might be because my outlook on the whole thing has maybe changed (since what I have deemed the "bad bad thing"). I've met a couple of daddy people recently that hold much much potential...but I just want to try and establish friendship first. I mean, don't get me wrong, i find myself trying to rush things sometimes, but then i take a step back and realize that these things take time. Even if one doesn't turn out to be the right one for me, they can still be my friend. Also, the longer you know people, the more you realize things about them. At first you overlook warning signs, because you want it so much. If you take your time, then its easier to go about everything, and you can take those warning signs to heart.

I dunno though. I just like having friends.

I GOTS DINOSAURS!!!

I have been waiting and waiting for them to come...finally I have received my trio of dinosaurs! I have: Roger (the T-rex), Phil (the Brontodsaurus), and Mike (the Triceratops).

Whoo hoo!!!

Daddy-less-ness

Finding the Daddy to your Little Girl (or vise versa...or mommy/little boy) is probably one of the hardest things I can think of. I've thought about the daddy-type people I have known. One was mean to me. One turned out to be an AB. One attacked me. So, its kinda blah. I think the hardest thing is when you REALLY like someone and they seem to be avoiding you, or too busy. Its not like you want to be needy...you just want confirmation that they are interested. However, when you try and talk to them...they evaporate...and it is quite the suck. However, after some thought, I have decided there are pros and cons to not having a daddy.

Pros:
*late bedtimes
*unlimited candy
*no veggies
*never getting in trouble

cons:
*no bedtime stories
*no cuddles
*no diapers (my own rule...no daddy...no diapers)
*no park
*no getting tucked in
*no one to watch movies with
*no one to tell me that i am silly
*no one to make scary things go away

I think the cons outweigh the pros...lol

Why being little sucks...

I think my biggest complaint about my being little is that emotions run so high and on the surface...or at least vulnerability does. I know when i am little i am more likely to get upset over nothing. I know that I cry more. I know that I develop relationships that affect me way more (friendship included). I just think it is hard sometimes to have to deal with all these emotions that are being applified. Its a constant fear of being rejected for who I am, by everyone. It brings back "feeling left out". Sometimes, it just sucks.

The problem with internets...

There is something I have come to find about online communities. They become inadvertantly "cliquish". Its not like people are turned away...its just hard to join a group that already exists you know? I know that of the communities I have joined, its been mighty hard to just jump in. I know that I've felt like everyone was ignoring my posts and only focusing on certain people. However, I have also discovered that if you just take your time, and show you plan on being around and not just a "flash in the pan" that you will be welcome. I mean, why should everyone get to know you if you won't be there in a month?

The thing is, fetish related communties, make it all harder. People start to feel like they are being judged for what they are. How is that fair? The rest of the world is judging them already, it makes it worse to feel like their peers in the community are rejecting them too. Case-in-point...I am a part of a community on Tribe, and there has been a big hoopla over "inappropriate" threads being posted. The truth is, there was not discrimination over certain people or their feelings...the problem was it made people uncomfortable. Talking about sex in a forum that is meant to be G is a problem...so is talk of illegal activities like pedophilia, or anything of the like. This causes people to get all hurt that people are rejecting them...when they are doing things that are quite obviously against the rules posted.

Things like the above feed into the people that like drama. The drama people then make people angry and everyone has problems.

*END RANT*