mixed up...

So...yeah. I find myself rather torn. I mean I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to be little. In fact all the things in my last post are true. I would give up candy to get a good solid spanking right about now (but don't tell anyone lol). At the same time, I feel...afraid. It doesn't really have much to do with getting raped and such. It's more that I'm self sufficient emotionally again, and I'm afraid to depend so much on someone again. I'm afraid to let someone know my stress and fears...afraid that I will be seen as weak. Yet, I know that it takes more courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable than to be all walled in a box.

Blargh...don't know

I wants...

I don't have a daddy person...but I know I want one. I am waiting and waiting very patiently to find one...but I will not rush anything. I know I want some things though...

I want...

*To go on a real picnic...with a basket and a blanket
*To go to Disneyland and have to hold hands so I don't get lost
*To go to an aquarium and leave nose prints on the glass from looking at the jelly fish
*To go to the beach and build a sand castle and be allowed to be sad when it melts from the waves
*To build a snowman complete with a charcoal face
*To be read a story every night before bed
*To go to the movies and be allowed to be silly without worrying about my daddy getting angry
*To be allowed to be little or big (meaning not having to be 24/7)
*To go on a short vacation and be little the whole time
*To not be in constant fear of everything
*To go on a road trip and get spanked multiple times along the way :-D
*To get REALLY spanked...till I cry and not have my daddy be scared that he is hurting me

I think thats mostly it ;-)