Random thoughts...

My birthday is coming up at the end of March. I haven't celebrated my birthday in at least 3 years. Last year, I was unemployed with no money in my apartment (I did find a job shortly after...). The year before, my father had an emergency appendectomy and was in the hospital. The year before that? I prefer not to remember my dad trying to beat me on my 19th birthday. The year before that? I was just trying to get through the rest of high school. I think I celebrated either my sophomore or junior year, I don't remember which one... I am turning 22 in a month, and it will be like every other day...and ever other year.

*Sorry for such a sad post...i've just been having one of those days i suppose.

I'm alive...

I'm just tired. Making stuff for my family. Looking for a job. Dealing with the BS of this life style. I actually ended up leaving Tribe because...it just wasn't the same. People who i thought were my friends turned out to really just be shallow. However, I have NOT left the lifestyle (though it HAS crossed my mind a lot). I'm just checking out other venues...Diaperspace for one is really cool. Since I am in the area, I also have decided to attend a local munch. We will see how that goes however. I just seem to be doing so much re-evaluation of friends and such.