Untitled story part 1

For those of you who read my old blog you may remember that I did some fiction writing. Well...I've decided to take it up again, but only as a hobby. This story deals with ageplay, and of course there is likely spanking to come...


He glanced at the clock displaying 6:00 AM boldly in the dim morning light. They needed to leave for the mountains in an hour to get there on time, but he didn't want to disturb hid peacefully sleeping little girl. Of course, to the rest of the work the 25 year old woman was far from a little girl, but in his eyes she was his perfect little princess. The meanwhile, she was in the midst of a lovely dream, she was sitting on the beach building an extremely large sand castle. She made sure there were 4 tall towers and a deep moat to keep out any unwelcome trespassers (like crabs). Suddenly, she felt his hand stroke her face and startled awake...

to be continued....

Ageplay...training for the marathon...

Last night I started thinking about ageplay relationships and how they work. I think that I personally see them as a marathon of sorts. The way that you pursue the relationship is your training for the marathon.

For example, many of these relationships start and blossom all on the internet. It’s rather common for there to be some sort of distance between the two people. Once they decide that they want to become serious, they spend some time together. Typically (from my experience, and others I know), they will spend a few days together and concentrate as much time together as they can into the short few days. Its like they have stored up as much energy as possible, and the visit is them running a sprint. Then, they wait some period of time, and run another sprint. Sometimes, things will go totally well, and one will move closer to the other and they will start the marathon. Other times, the sprints weren't enough training, and they don't even attempt the marathon.

Then, there are the lucky people. The ones who live close to each other and can see one another rather frequently. They have the benefit of training for the marathon by taking things slowly and building upon the distance they run together day by day. If they decide to run the marathon, they have a slight advantage over the people who trained only by running sprints. If things aren't going to work out, they are also more likely to know sooner than the sprinters.

There is nothing wrong with either way of "training for the marathon". Both ways can work out; most people I know in ageplay relationships did it by sprinting. Others were able to find people nearby (but, it’s hard to find someone close to you that fits). I suppose it just depends on what you are comfortable with and able to do.

Where did my tolerance go?!

I notice that my pain tolerance has gone down since i first started ageplay. When I first started, a hand spanking made me scoff...but now, it can be just enough. I don't think it is a total drop in pain tolerance however, I think it is emotional as well. I will admit that my latest tattoo hurt more than its 3 predecessors... but thats not really it. I think that before this, spanking's only association was as something sexual. Now however, its more. If i am getting spanked as a little girl, it means i did something wrong...I disappointed my daddy. Being little is a very emotional thing regardless, but when you add in disappointment and such...it just makes it a big thing. A little spanking turns into a big thing for me. My emotions end up about 5 times higher than they were before. So...perhaps I am not a wimp...just potentially a daddy's girl :-)

The problem...

It is so difficult to find someone online. In reference to my last post, preferences are just too different. When I look on bdsm sites all the doms write to me...but they have absolutely no interest in being a daddy, they just want a slave. I make my profile very clear about what I want, and I still end up with people who say things like "be my maid" or "I will make you a good slut". Thats not what i want. At the same times however, diaper sites are hard too. I mean the people mostly understand, however there are still problems. Men that are DL's write to me and tell me about how they love wearing diapers, and that is fine...just again not what I am looking for. I also get the male AB's who want me to be there mommy and that isn't what i want either. Why must it be so hard?!

Whats good for you...

Isn't exactly good for me. I've actually been discussing spanking and ageplay related things with friends of mine. It seems we have confirmed what I believed all along, that no one does any of this the same. There is no set way to have a spanking relationship...and there is no set way to have an ageplay one. I've said before how difficult it is to find a matching spanking partner...it can be much harder to find the daddy to your little...or vise versa.

For example, I like diapers...however...I don't wear them 24/7 even when i am in a relationship. I know people who love to wear them 24/7 and feel that is the way to go. On the other hand, my closest little friend has never tried them...and doesn't know if she will ever try them (though i think there is a bit of interest). Some people just don't want to at all.


Another determining factor is what age is the little? My little is 3ish...it really depends who i am around. If i am around just a daddy...I'll be 3...but if im around my other friends with no daddy I'm actually more of about 5ish. I have friends that are AB's all the way...and other that are in the preteen range.

What types of activities are "normal"? I like coloring, going to the park, movies, cuddling up with my daddy and I like to dress the part sometimes. For some people its strictly the acts of doing activities like listed above and stress relief. For others its more of the ability to be themselves because they find that its who they really are.

A BIG issue is sexual vs. non-sexual. Some people do it soley as foreplay, and others do it solely as an emotional thing. For me, its a mix of the two. I need it because it fulfills something for me emotionally. However, it also turns me on, and I can't help that fact. However, never confuse this for pediphilla...they are nothing a like.

When it comes down to it, there really is no way to do this. I know people criticize each other because they don't think the other is doing it right...but really its what fits you and your relationship. Ageplay is criticized or frowned upon by some people in the alternative community. We could be seen as outcasts of the outcasts. Do we really need to criticize each other?

I figure 2 posts a month should suffice :-P

Alright, so here I am back in the world of blogging. Once again (for any readers that may be lingering around...) I am quite sorry for the delay. I apologize for any inconvenience it may have caused (using my customer service canned apology lol).

Anyway, things have been rather boring here. I don't have much to do...I just kind of work and sleep. I have actually started to socialize with people at work and go out to bars on the weekend. Too bad im allergic to the alcohol...but then again i still drink it anyway...then find myself wondering why i am itchy and can't breathe.

I am officially moving back to California at the end of January. I figure I can move back, spend a year getting a culinary degree...then make my escape lol. It won't hurt, and it will give me a chance to save up some money.

I suppose that is all for now. I will start actually posting more on topic things shortly...especially since i've been thinking so much about it all. Sort of a re-evaluation of it all.

Its over...

So the Daddy I thought I had i really didn't. Apparently i annoyed him. Apparently he doesn't have the patience to be a daddy. Apparently he was going to think about "us". He really disappeared off the face of the planet.

Except...

No one wants me.

And I am a little heartbroken.