Preferences....

I think it is interesting how ones preferences change over time. I know that my spanking preferences have evolved. I've wanted to be spanked constantly...i've wanted to give it up...now? I don't know. I mean i do....but then again...I'm a little nervous. I know though that if I really didn't want it...it would not happen. However, I want it to happen...no I NEED it to happen. I am afraid that maybe he does not quite understand the degree that i really crave to be spanked. He's like "you are gonna get 50 swats" and im like "thats all?"...but then another part of me is like "ACK!".