The Conundrum...

I like spanking (try to hide the shock and awe :-P). What we do lends itself to it (at least for me). In fact up until now whenever I was little I got spanked...it was a given. However, I have been thinking about this mixture. I find myself in a huge dilemma. I like spanking as an adult, because it is a sexual thing for me. I don't LIKE it when I am little...I NEED it. It provides this sense of security for me in the situation. It cements the roles and is kind of proof that someone cares enough about what I do to take action. So what is the problem? Well, now I find myself not wanting to misbehave. I don't want to disappoint or upset anyone. So what do I do? I really like it when someone says I am a good girl. I need me some spanking, but I don't want to misbehave and earn one...so what shall I DO?!